Conditions of Use

Terms and Conditions

You give us money, we send you stuff right to your door step. If you don't like it, you send it back. That's about the gist of it.

Ahhh, but of course it can't just be that easy can it? Of course not. If this was all we had for our terms and conditions I'm pretty sure our lawyer would keel over from a stroke, and we wouldn't want that now would we? Don't answer that: it's a rhetorical question.

The Fine Print

This isn't a binding contract, but it should serve as notification of our polices. If you don't like 'em, shop somewhere else. We'll miss you. Sorry.

Credit Card Processing

When you place an order, we put a hold on the funds on the card you used for the purchase. This means that they are "held" by your bank or card issuer. We don't have them when there is a hold. Once your order has been processed, we complete the transaction and the money is sent by a magical combination of ones and zeros across the internet from your bank to ours.

Simple, right? Not so fast.

If you, for whatever reason, hit "submit" over and over again, or if you accidentally place the same order multiple times, or if the stars align and something goes wrong, it's possible that our system can place multiple holds on the same amount of money. We know, it sucks, but it's not our fault! Honest!

When that happens, we will contact you to see if you REALLY wanted 27 bottles of all-natural plant fertilizer, or whatever it was that you ordered. If you didn't, or if we can't get a hold of you, we will cancel the order. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean all of your money is released immediately. Most banks, if we don't collect within 3-4 business days, release the hold on your money.

We don't have a way of speeding up the process, so please make sure that once your order is ready that you only submit it once!

Also, we don't actually have your credit card information. Only our Merchant Bank does, for security reasons.

One of the other things we do for security is ask our processor to check and see if the address on your credit card matches the address you give us for your billing information. If it doesn't, your purchase will get flagged and once again we will try to get a hold of you to resolve the problem. If we can't get a hold of you, your order will be cancelled.